Episode 28
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[00:00:00] Yeah. Yeah.
Welcome back to the women in writing podcast. We have Elaine today, and I'm so excited to talk to her because she's such a brilliant lady and she has so much to offer in terms of her writing her knowledge around marketing, publishing, and just also like connecting to spirit in her message. Hello, Elaine.
Hello. How are you? I'm very well. Thank you. How are you? I'm good as well. I'm excited to have you on. Finally. We planned that forever. Now you're finally on. I know. Yeah. It's been quite a few months, isn't it? Quite a few months. Yeah. I think we started talking, obviously, like we started talking as like client coach, like last [00:01:00] year.
When was it? In September or something, right? Yes. Or August. August. Even before, yeah, because I remember it was it was warm. It was nice and warm, yeah, in the UK. We're both in the UK now, but we're both not from the UK, which is funny, but anyway. Yeah, I think we had a similar journey in many ways, but yeah.
Yeah, I'm so glad that we connected as well. Yeah, do you want to tell us a little bit about your writing journey so far and what you're up to right now? Sure. Yeah, it's been a very long journey with writing because I started writing since I was very young. I can't even I remember being very small and having loads of books that I used to write poetry, write every day.
It was just my way of understanding and processing the world. It was, I wasn't very good at talking, but I was, I've always been someone that felt everything very intense, like very intense feelings around everything. And I just felt with the people around me that didn't [00:02:00] really get it. And the best way for me to actually process all those feelings, it was just with a pen and paper and writing it down and understanding myself from a different point of view.
Yeah, so it started very early on. I used to love writing poetry when I was younger. I had I had, one poem that I sent to a magazine because they were doing like a competition and it ended up being selected to be published and I remember it was probably one of the most exciting moments of my childhood but obviously around that time publishing was a lot more complicated because you had to buy a certain number of copies and my family couldn't really afford it and I remember nowadays I really understand because my dad came to me Obviously for him, there was an element of being difficult to tell your daughter that they don't have enough money to actually do something that she would love.
But so it went on the lines of but yeah, but [00:03:00] writing is not something that you could actually do as a career or it would be very difficult to earn money doing any kind of writing. Okay. Yeah. And that's something that, yeah, nowadays I look back and I think I had to do a lot around changing that belief of thinking that being creative and doing creative things is not something that you can actually make a career out of it because you absolutely can.
And it's funny because, a lot of people in my world saying the same, because, it's so like crazy to think about really if you're like, and that's what we talked about earlier as well. If you're encouraged, like earlier in life to do something, like how much of a difference it makes later in life.
And a lot of people like would step away from, I was doing writing as a career, not even thinking about it anymore, but I think it really takes a lot of courage and healing to change that almost. Yeah, absolutely. But then by the [00:04:00] other hand, because I have this. big spiritual side to me and obviously I had over the last few years went through a massive spiritual journey and for me it just felt like nowadays when I look back I'm actually grateful for that happened because it almost took me in a journey of committing to the writer inside me and the creative person inside me in a completely different level because it came from me believing that I absolutely can do it instead of coming from a place of someone telling me that I can't do it.
I don't know, it's just like that. I don't know if you ever had that but I had that since I was a kid when someone tells me I can't do something it really pushes me to say no let me see if I really can't do this let me see if I maybe can find a way to do this in a different way like break that barrier and I can see how even obviously Taking, making a career out of writing is something more recent to me because I ended up going into construction, I ended up graduating as [00:05:00] an architect cause my dad is an engineer.
So obviously there was this side of Oh, I went to a proper university, I had a proper career. I ended up working in construction. As a woman, which again was something around breaking that barrier and breaking that belief that women can do that kind of work because I actually work in building sites that I can't tell you how many times I turned up and they look at me and they say, Oh, you're a woman.
And it feels like you have to prove even more because you are a woman, because you have to break that barrier. So I've really learned from that journey and I feel it prepared me to actually Do this now because I feel like, yes, I really know. I really know who I am. I really know that being a writer is something that is part of my purpose and my mission and what I love to do.
And that comes from a place of like me knowing who I am in a much deeper level because I had to take that journey. Yeah, 100%. So interesting that you say that. I [00:06:00] had just a writing client like a couple of weeks ago and she was like, almost like analyzing all of, like women in, more male dominated jobs, but also that perception of the threat of motherhood, like that, they, could be moms at one point and stuff like, and it's just crazy.
Like you said, like you have to prove yourself like in a different way, which is like sad, but on the other hand, Yes, there is this, is it like almost not like rage, but like that feeling of Hey, I can do it and I will prove it to you. Like it is a good feeling, but it can feel also a little bit unfair at times when, you really have to push, right?
Absolutely. But I feel, I don't know, I like to live in a way that I'm always looking at the experiences and the things I'm going through and I'm trying to learn a lesson from it. Exactly. In a way I'm grateful because it made me really determined and it made me, in a way, I'm like, okay if this is [00:07:00] not working, then how can I make it work?
So I think to put it in words, it made me feel more confident in who I am and not take so much so if someone gives me criticism or if something is not working, I don't take it so much. I don't like, let it put me down. I actually will look at it and I'll look, okay, is that something I'm doing wrong?
Is that something I need to improve? Is that something need to learn? And then I will go into that journey and Keep trying. And I think that's the main secret with everything nowadays. I think people are really looking for the shortcut. How can you really get to a place like going around and just, instead of looking at it as a journey and looking at how you can improve in that journey.
So it's not so much about the end result, but it's actually the person that you become when you're taking that journey. A hundred percent. And that's why I feel like mindset work and everything is so important as well. Because, like a lot of people [00:08:00] don't want to do that. And a lot of people don't want to, do the hard work, like everything that seems like work or also like being persistent.
And I always say to everybody, like I'm a hundred percent convinced like that everyone can be like a really successful, writer or whatever they want to do, but it's really about like sticking with it. It's sticking with it, but I also find is actually what you just said is finding what is that thing that they're really passionate about because you can only stick to something that really makes your heart sing.
So it's about you going And that's why you need to go into that journey within yourself for you to be able to heal the parts of you that need to be healed so that you feel 100 percent confident in who you are and what you feel is your mission and your purpose in the world and then you can start creating a life around that but you need to do that work so that you can feel 100 percent [00:09:00] certain and sure and like really confident.
On who you are, because everyone is unique and different. And I find that nowadays there's so much around people wanting to look a certain way or do things a certain way, or even with like, when we look at marketing nowadays and how people create content, they're looking at the templates out there, or they're looking at AI, they're looking at automating everything and kind of not looking for that uniqueness around them and what they do.
And then letting that. Expand and shine through everything that they do. Exactly. And that's where the main secret lays. I think that's the, I think that's such an important point because, obviously it's about like being, professional and everything, but you have to show up and you have to, create from that place of being like almost vulnerable in a way.
I think it's being really comfortable about what's unique about you, because everyone [00:10:00] has something that is unique about them. And if you don't go into that journey of being like really embodying that and being really comfortable around that, then you're never going to be able to show and shine from that place of that genuine and authentic place.
Definitely. I think that's, that makes such a. Difference, like as well. And it makes a real difference in how you connect with people, especially with social media. And because if you're showing yourself, if you're happy and you're confident about who you are, and that's how you show up everywhere you go and how you create your posts on social media, how you write, how, whatever it is that you do, People can really feel that, and they can really like And I think because of the world that we live nowadays, that is so much around appearance, or so much around [00:11:00] taking pretty pictures, and just posting the good parts of life, and just the shiny things.
People are really craving that real side of things, that reality, the authenticity, that is something that people don't show anymore. Yeah, definitely. It gets too bland almost, right? Yeah, and it is. I really believe and I know from me when I'm in social media and I'm scrolling at posts and looking at what people are posting and you can really feel and I bet there will be a post that you're going to remember recently when you're scrolling and then something made you stop to read a certain post and if you actually go back to that post and you read, from a point of what's different in this post?
What is it that is grabbing my attention? You're probably going to notice that is a post that is coming from a place that is more authentic, is around someone actually sharing something that is real, instead of just sharing like, [00:12:00] how much money they made on the last six months, or what's the pretty places they've been on.
Obviously, those are really nice things, and we, It is lovely to I love seeing when people succeed, but there's a difference on succeeding from a place of I'm being myself and I'm succeeding and here is, or just a place of Oh, look at how much money I made. Come over here and you can make this amount of money.
That's right. That's a hundred percent right. And I feel this connection, like when you are, like making this connection with someone obviously you have to give them like the desire, spark the desire in them. But I'm sure like, there's a lot of people as well that look at you then with that little bit of envy Hey, I like, it should be in a healthy way, it should be like, that someone looks at you and it should be healthy instead of more destructive, if that makes sense.
Yeah, and I find that even through my journey, [00:13:00] I find that you need to look even at those, I don't like calling them negative emotions, but I like to call them challenging emotions because obviously it's not the kind of thing we like to feel. But let's say, If I'm scrolling and I see something that causes me to feel envy, I would go.
I would go in and I would ask myself what part of me is feeling that they really would want something else? Because envy in the end is just that you looking at something and you wanting something that someone else has, you are not des, you're not like wanting them not to have it. It is just because there is a part of you.
that would really want whatever that experience or that physical, whatever that is. And then obviously you can look at yourself and you think, okay, is this something that I really want? Or is this feeling coming from the lack of something else? And then when you look at this that way, then obviously if it's something that you really want, [00:14:00] then you can strive towards achieving that.
And that's why envy in a way is actually a good thing because it's showing you. What kind of things you want to achieve? Because I feel as human beings, we, at least for me, I always like to be growing. I always like to be looking at the next step. I want to be, I want to be in movement. I don't want to be stuck.
If there's one thing I don't like is just feeling stuck, feeling that nothing is moving, nothing is growing. So I like, Even envy can be something that you can look at and you can think, okay, this is telling me something here. What is that is telling me? And the same way when people feel envy towards you, you can look at that and you can say, you can take it personally and you can think, oh my God, all these bad people that feel envy, or you can actually look and say, I hope that there is a way I can help people like them to actually have what I have.
And then obviously, if that's the case, then there might be something there that you can actually teach other people and that you can help them to get where you are. So you [00:15:00] can always reframe those things that we like to call negative emotions, which is like I said, I don't really like, cause there's a lot out there in the world nowadays around, Oh, don't feel negative emotion or try and just ignore it and put another thought in there.
And I like different approach. I actually like to explore and be curious around it. And just like, why is this coming up? What can I, when I look at this what lessons can I learn from this, or how can I. implement some change in my life that will actually have a positive impact around this. So I just find that ignoring and pushing it down never helped me.
I tried it. I tried it for many years. It just doesn't help me. I find it so much more helpful to actually look at those emotions and see if there's something that you can either help other people to get to where you are, or if it's something that you're feeling envy, for example, then What is it telling me?
Is it telling me I need to make a change in my life so that I feel more fulfilled [00:16:00] because I'm missing something or, so yeah, there's always something that you can, again, is mindset. Cause you looking at a different way. Yeah, definitely. And I love that you see things in that way because I'm like, absolutely the same.
I think like for some people especially out there and connecting, with audiences like out there, like online, like something that I really focus on at the moment, like with my work, it's really like how to create a connection. But unfortunately, like a lot of people don't think that way.
And I'm not judging, it's whatever, some people just have a different mindset. But I'm asking myself the question also, like, how is it to inspire someone that might be like still in a place of like insecurity, if they can achieve a certain goal or not, because I feel like you have that kind of a calm confidence around you as well.
And that when you put your effort into something that you can achieve it, like obviously but. I think like it's sometimes difficult [00:17:00] to I dunno, like really connecting with someone and pushing them, but also like in a loving way, if that makes sense. Yeah, it does make sense. And I find that at least with what I do, sometimes it can be really powerful for you to just drop some questions in there and let them do the actual journey.
Because I find nowadays there's this, also this kind of culture of people wanting to tell other people what they're doing wrong and that, that doesn't really teach the person anything. I know this is popping in my head now, but I had this math teacher when I was a kid and she was like, whenever she was teaching us in terms of like formulas and everything else, she would actually show you the whole process of how they came up with that formula in the end.
Sorry? Who was that? A maths teacher I had at school and I remember that really stuck with me because that's something that really helps me with everything in my life. I [00:18:00] want to understand and I really like to come up with my own reasoning around things instead of someone telling me what's wrong and what's right and I feel that in general can be really helpful and I think the other thing is for people to actually see underneath there.
the shining windows of social media because obviously you gotta think that people post out there they like They, what they want other people to see, but it's very rare for you to actually see people that posting or the whole picture. And I find that can be quite damaging because a lot of people, let's say they will post something out, got this result by doing just this, but they're not really telling how many times they had to try things in a different way.
How many times did they have to change the strategy until they got to a certain point? I think there's a lot around letting people know that. Trying and not getting that incredible result the first time is actually not a bad thing [00:19:00] because it is teaching you different ways, is making you stronger, is creating that resilience inside of you that you wouldn't have if you just literally got to from A to B in one try.
And I think that's the whole thing about um, like demystifying that overnight success, because people think, Oh, she's just lucky, like that was an overnight success or whatever, like with whomever, if someone has a goal, I don't know, like becoming an influencer or whatever it might be in their life, that's important to them.
They can achieve that if they put the work in? Yeah, and I think that's the main thing is just that once you find that thing that makes your heart sing and then you feel like this is where I want to put my work in, then things will happen if you persist. And it is, I dunno I'm even like, over the last few years, I changed my mind around making mistakes as well, because I was really, I was a [00:20:00] really bad perfectionist.
And I was like, everything had to be perfect before I would do anything, before I would put anything out there. And I think for me, the last few years has been a lot around learning that mistakes are actually a good thing, because first they mean that you're putting yourself out there, you're trying. And obviously if you try, you're going to make mistakes.
And they actually creating even if you look at the biggest creations in history, inventions and things like that, how many times did those people make mistakes and made something try to get to and they failed. And the thing is then quite often, because they failed so much, they created something so incredible because they had to.
get out of their normal way of thinking to come up with a completely different solution. And that those were the things that changed the world. It's not the people that done the things that are already being written before already being done before. It's actually the people that are prepared to make mistakes and [00:21:00] actually try things in a different way.
Yeah, definitely. That is like amazing because that's like the whole kind of yeah, methodology or like psychology around it as well. And that's what I truly believe because, I see like nowadays, like with everything being so fast paced, there's so many people that kind of look for the new, like shiny object and like next thing and the next thing and the next thing.
And then they go for something else and they don't even try, yeah. Like I have people in my course that, signed up and then they've been on like one or two calls and then they would never come back because they would say Oh, I'm doing this. Now I'm doing Amazon drop shipping now, or I'm doing.
I'm trying to make money. I don't know with a pyramid scheme, like selling essential oils and stuff and nothing wrong with that, obviously, but I think for like people like us, where it's really about the writing it's, and creating also like a difference and like [00:22:00] someone else's life with like our talent.
of like writing, like maybe editing or like maybe just creating like this better message. That's more, we are connected from that point of love for what we're doing instead of just the money. Yes. And I feel, I dunno, I feel that makes a massive difference, at least for me as a person, because I feel I love I could do every after day because that's what I love doing and I just, I love connecting with people in a personal way.
So even with the way, like when I do workshops and things like that, I don't even like to know that the style nowadays, if you doing. something that is pre recorded, like with a lot of courses that you see out there, they're like pre recorded. And I find that, yes, that could help a lot of people, but I really like, I still, I'm a bit old style.
I like that kind of thing of sitting with people and actually having that interaction and saying, okay, where are you? [00:23:00] Let's see how we can help you to take you to the next step. Instead of being something that they need, they watch, like you sell them a course that is going to. say, oh, you're going to learn this.
And then I don't know how many people they end up buying really expensive courses and they get to the end of it. And they don't feel they learned anything out of it because there's no connection. There's no, there's not that real interaction to help them to actually get to the next step.
the next stage. And for me, that's the thing that actually brings me joy, is for someone to actually say to me, for example, by the end of a workshop that I done recently of just saying, I really, I felt like this hour I learned more than I did in all the courses I've done before, but I haven't done anything special.
I just sat with them and I saw where they are and tailored the help that they needed at that point, instead of trying to sell them something that is like, worked for other people. But it doesn't mean it works for that person, because [00:24:00] everyone is unique. And obviously that's something that you do quite a lot on your work as well, because you meet people at that place where they are, you get to know them, and then you help them in however way they need to be helped.
It's not following a particular formula. Obviously you create the structure, but it's still malleable around what that person needs, what that person is and everything else. Yeah. And I think that's an important thing because obviously, and I have Programs that are pre recorded or master classes where people can watch and see if it's for them, but I always say to people.
That's why I want to have a call with people to see, whereas you know that personal element and like, how can I support you with what you're trying to do. Right now. And I think it just makes so much more sense to see the person, not just like the mission, yeah, no, absolutely.
And even with me, when I first came into your world, it was like I learned so much more from you. [00:25:00] on the sessions that we had, like the one on one sessions than I did looking at the course, because I really felt that you looked into meeting me, who I am, and oh, that, that process of seeing how, what is that I'm passionate about, what area that I would like to be doing more and things like that.
And I think that's so much more powerful than you just taking people through a sales. program and you never really got to meet them. And then for me, it's even it's so for me, the joy is in meeting people and seeing where they are and having that's what I gain in personal experience.
And for me, that's so much more valuable than the financial part, obviously the financial part I'm not saying that it's not important. It is, but I just feel that needs to be both. Yeah, a hundred percent. And I think It's really about, like you said, like the personal connection, but I had the experience [00:26:00] as well, like where there was great material online, 200 videos or so.
But if it's, if it doesn't make sense like in that moment, like to me like to watch, I don't even know what video to watch first. Then you know, like it might give me like great information and I could learn something, but it's also not. Enjoyable to just look at like a hundred videos instead of just talking to a person and they see me and they can give me a personal suggestion within half an hour instead of me watching videos for two days, think that's the thing because we live in like nowadays there's this overload of information. So obviously if you want information you can find it anyway, but there is a real, I find that there's a real lack of real personal connection nowadays. And I feel that's what people are really craving and that's what can really make a difference.
I think so too. Yeah. A hundred percent. So what is it that you focus on in your writing right [00:27:00] now? A little bit. Yeah that's the other thing as well. Like I find I had to accept that I'm multifaceted and I do different things at the same time because I It's just I feel like it's the very nature of who we are.
We're not, we don't just do one thing We, and for me, I find it quite difficult Inspiring to be working on a couple of projects at the same time and be doing a few different things. And it just really speaks to me. So I've been, yeah, at the moment I'm working on a couple of books. One I'm writing with my sister in law and that's a her memoir.
So it's her story is It's a long story, but she's been going through a, she's got a very rare type of cancer and she's been in a very long journey with it. So we starting to write it down and then because she's got a really interesting story as well. So I'm working with her to get her story in a book because we believe it's something that would be [00:28:00] really inspiring for the woman as well.
Yeah. And then I'm also working on a book to. help, because the other thing I love is storytelling. So I had a few short stories published over the last few years. So for me, it was really easy to then adapt that to social media and obviously creating content in all different forms. I've been very I've been learning quite a lot around video creation as well, because that's something I'm quite passionate about, so I've been branching in different ways, but yeah, with the book it's around exactly what we've been talking here, so helping people to get to that place of really knowing what their purpose, what makes their heart sing, why they're wanting to do what they do, and then create strategies and a lot of, practical ways of them to be able to create whatever they need to create around their business or let's say the program, how they work with people, how they put their message out there, but coming from this place of [00:29:00] connection with what is their mission and their purpose, because I feel that makes all the difference on first, how they show up in the world, how they connect with people, but also how many people they can actually help.
Because if they're creating things from that place, People can feel that and then creating that connection becomes a lot easier. Yeah, a hundred percent. And then yeah, also doing workshops and helping in a lot of different aspects around that. So yeah, there's a lot going on at the moment. Would you say like you're narrowing it down or do you just enjoy being like on that journey and do everything?
At the moment because of this massive spiritual journey that I've been really enjoying just seeing where it takes me because it is I found a lot of freedom and like a lot of joy in not having to know exactly where I want to be in 10 years time. And obviously I have a little [00:30:00] bit of an idea, but my idea is very it's more around how I want to be feeling, how much difference I want to have created.
to people around me and so I changed my mindset around the whole goal setting because I just found that when you set a really rigid goal it's almost like you take yourself the possibilities of something becoming a lot different than what you first expected. And I found for me over the last few years, how I am now and how my life is now, I could have never imagined it.
But the only way for this to be possible is for me to actually trust and like always take that next step. And I probably I can't tell you how many times the steps were really out of my comfort zone. And it was like, scared me, things that I'd be like, no way I'm doing this. But he's just coming and then say, no, why wouldn't I do this?
Let me try and do this because it might take [00:31:00] me to something else and something else. And the amount of times, then yeah, it's something that, it looked to me like, It wasn't going to get anywhere and then suddenly took me somewhere completely unexpected and I'll be like, Oh my God, this is amazing.
So I feel there's also this element of trusting the journey and being really happy where you are and being like, I'm really enjoying this right now. So whatever happens next, I'm really going to enjoy it too. And having this little bit of freedom to go with the flow as well. And I find that's the best way to actually get you in because you feeling really happy with.
How is it going now? Exactly. And that's I forget that a lot of times because I feel like I'm sometimes like really impatient, and I feel like, okay, why is that happening? Am I on the right journey or whatever? But, it's, you're right. There's so there's so many gifts and the now and like the journey that we're on right now, even, even though we might face difficulties, it might be hard, but maybe [00:32:00] it just gives us that element of creating something better and something new for ourselves, right?
And I find if you start enjoying the challenge, it actually you know when you're a kid, sometimes you're playing a game and then the game becomes really, I dunno if you had that, but the game, let's say, becomes really hard, like, how can I win this game? And it is almost like you embody this like really strong will of like, how can I wield this, win this game.
And then you find a way. And I find that nowadays for me, like when I get to a challenge, I like. going back to when I was a kid and having that kind of feeling of no, this is something I really want. So I'm not going to let something stop me. How do I overcome this? And you stretch your mind a little bit so you can see different ways that maybe you're not seeing before.
Or you can, yeah, there's, I find that, I find it a bit of fun nowadays to just like again change your mindset so you see a challenge as not something so bad but actually something that's stretching you into becoming an even better version. You're [00:33:00] growing into something else that you would have never been if it wasn't for that challenge.
100 percent Yeah, that's so interesting. Yeah, definitely. And do you think it comes also like with you stepping like on that spiritual path? Or was it like, always for you that you like that? All the soul that you had that knowing or how was that for you? To be fair, when I was younger, I always had all the friends and I always been told I was an old person in the young body.
But I 100 percent say that my I've done the amount of, and it wasn't like, there was the spiritual journey, but I also done a lot of counselling. I actually went into studying a year and a half of counselling just because I was so interested in how our mind works and how we believe the things we believe.
So for me, it was just like, I was always very curious and I always loved learning. And I can't tell you how grateful I [00:34:00] am for actually being that way. Cause it's like I said, for me. Even when I do have difficult things that happen, because I do, I had plenty of like really difficult things. I moved to five different countries.
When I came to England, I actually only had a backpack with some clothes. I had nothing. So I didn't even How old were you when you came to England? I came to England when I was 23. And I went to Italy before that. So actually when I went to Italy, I got a master's degree to do building restoration and they literally called me.
So I applied for a few different ones because I always wanted to live abroad. I always felt like I wanted to live somewhere else. I don't know. I always had that feeling. And I applied for many different scholarships when I finished university and this particular one, they called me and they said we can offer you a scholarship, but you need to come in a week.
And my first reaction was like, there's no way I had a job. I had a life in there. I had, my mom had just had an [00:35:00] operation a month before that. So she still needed my help. And I was like, there's no way I can go. And luckily, obviously, my parents were like, no, there's no way you say no to this opportunity.
We'll find a way you go. And I can't tell you how scared I was when I was in that plane going over to Italy without not knowing anyone, not knowing where I was going to live and just having this place on this scholarship. But it's just, like I said, for me, I'd never let the fear stop me, and I was like, I remember coming out of that plane absolutely petrified of I couldn't really speak the language that well, I didn't know anyone, they actually lost my bag, and it was just like, there was a whole lot of challenges then, but it's like I said, for me it was always around, so when I look at something like that is so big, I look at What's the worst thing that can happen?
And then in my mind, I work out what's the worst thing. In that case would be nothing works out and I need to go back to Brazil. And then for [00:36:00] me, it's just then it becomes, okay, I can cope with that. And then you move forward because, You have a backup plan, but I feel like over the years, I don't really need a backup plan that much nowadays because I just know something is always going to, you're never going to be the same.
So you can't really go back to where you were. And there's always something else. 100%.
Wow. That's so interesting. That's really cool. And it wasn't the only time. So I was like, cause I moved countries, different times. And obviously it's, it wasn't just about around moving countries. There was so much more around being made redundant. And there was so many other things that happened.
Like everyone, everyone has challenges, different challenges. And it's just, it's like I said, if you don't find a way to actually work through those challenges, learn from it and grow from it, then life [00:37:00] becomes really difficult. So it's really, again, is around the mindset and how can you actually change the way things and see how exciting life can be and actually see excitement and joy and happiness and everything that you do.
Doesn't matter what's happening. My coach always says, like my German coach, She always says that excitement and being afraid are the same emotions in your body. Yeah. So it's really just what your mind puts on these emotions. If it's like something that's really exciting, Oh, I'm on that journey.
Oh my God, I'm on that journey. I'm afraid, and then it makes such a difference, like honestly, and also getting out of that victim mode, I think like it's important as well, because, if you always feel that, Oh my God, like everything else Oh, these bad things are happening to me.
These bad things are happening to me. Then you like never, there's no ending to like something that can be like, so enjoyable as well. [00:38:00] Yeah, absolutely. And I feel like I had to learn quite a lot around dealing with the difficult emotions, but I think for me, like for example, fear, again, if you look at it from the point of view of that.
There is a purpose to everything that we feel like I nowadays I look at everything from yeah from the things like for example if I'm feeling fear there's a part of me that's trying to protect me and that's why I'm feeling that fear and obviously if you look And that part of you, why is it trying to protect you?
It's probably trying to protect you because it doesn't want you to get hurt, or it doesn't want you to get physically hurt, or, and then the way I like to imagine it, and it just I heard this, I can't remember where I heard this, but I heard this years ago, and it really helps me, is that if you imagine you're driving a car, and you've got, everyone inside the car so you got the joy you got the happiness but you also got the fear you got the anger you got the envy and everyone is allowed to say everyone is allowed to be heard and i found that with the [00:39:00] difficult emotions it really helps for you to actually hear what they have to say in the sense of like again fear is coming up because it's trying to protect you so There is actually a good purpose behind it.
They're just trying to avoid you from getting hurt physically or emotionally. But what you can never do is let that emotion take control of the car. You need to be in control of the car. You're listening to everyone. You're taking everyone's input. So you're doing what you got to do, but you're the one in control.
Yeah. A hundred percent. That's so smart. That's amazing. Like I could see you as like someone, that coaches or like mentors other people as well, definitely. And obviously you're doing this in your workshops, but I think like on a much deeper level in terms of that connection and everything, because everything is related, at least for the way I see it, for me, like I can't separate the way someone. If I'm helping them to create the content and share their message out there, how can they not [00:40:00] look into that in a deeper level? Cause like I said, for me, it's about you sharing from that place.
So obviously you've got to help them to get to that place and kind of help to Reframe the mindset or whatever is that is on the way for them to feel confident to actually share from that place because it is like I said whenever I meet people I find it so incredible how we are so unique and we are so different and That is what needs to be out there in the world where I feel like So many of us, and I put myself into that when I was younger, I was trying to fit in.
I always felt like I was the weird one out and I felt like I didn't belong. And I think that was a big part of why I wanted to go and live abroad. Because I thought maybe I don't fit in here, but I could find where I would fit. And a big part of my journey I had a retreat that I had this massive realization that it was like I was in this really interesting point in my life that I didn't really have a house because I was in between, I had to move out from my house and I was waiting three months to move back into [00:41:00] the house that I owned that was rented.
But I had the spirit of three months that I didn't have a house. And I felt I had to go into a really deep kind of inner exploration around what a home is and how do you feel at home. And for me, it was really around realizing that the only place that is your real home is yourself. So if you don't really feel comfortable being yourself.
in yourself, then nowhere else will feel comfortable. And I feel when, again, with everything in life, when you know that, and then you're creating from that place, or you're connecting with people around that place, then you create a completely different experience. It's, everything changes. 100%. Thank you so much for sharing that.
So what would be your number one advice for everyone that wants to like get into writing? To writing? Honestly, just but right from this place from feeling from what's unique about you [00:42:00] and writing, like I find that like even finding your own voice, finding what is that you can add to the world, what is different about you and really, Being really proud of that and really loving that because that's what that's why we made Everyone is different because is that uniqueness that makes the world so interesting, that makes everything magical in a way, because if we're all the same, it would be so boring.
So it's about really owning it, really what's different about me? And I'm being really, no, I love this. This is what I need to create from. This is what I want to write from. And just carry on writing. Cause it's just, like I said, it's just about also sticking to that and being just, it is not about the easy gain.
I find, and there's actually a lot of joy around, because I really love creating. So for me nowadays, when I sit down and write, I'm like, I'm excited about it, but obviously because it speaks to my [00:43:00] soul. So if it's not speaking to your soul, then you need to find what it does. Cause when you do, then it is just, it's just natural.
It's just a joy, even when it when you're tired, even, but you still can access that place of I love what I'm doing. Yeah. A hundred percent. Amazing. Thank you so much for all your insights. Thank you. That was definitely a really good conversation. So I will pop some links below if people want to reach you and they want to check you out on social media, what you're about and definitely I would recommend it to everyone.
Just checking out like how personal you create your messages, like in that world of AI craziness and everyone is doing the same. And. Thank you so much for our conversation. Thank you. Thank you for having me and for all that you do for the people that write as well, because you inspire them to follow that dream, which is, I feel like if we're all doing that, we're all inspiring other people to follow [00:44:00] their dreams, we would have a fantastic world.
Yeah, that's, I always think that too, if everyone would go after their ideas and be like brave enough, like no matter what they were told also, like when they were younger also now that would make such a difference. Absolutely. And I hope that's how we're going to leave one day, but yeah, hopefully.
We can only do, we can only start with ourselves. So obviously if we're doing that for ourselves, then hopefully we're inspiring other people to do it the same. The same way. Yeah, exactly. Thank you so much for your time today. Thank you. And speak to you very soon. Speak to you soon.
Yeah. Yeah.
